thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
