As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
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And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
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I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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