I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize