I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
