do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
