I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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