K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize