I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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