sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
