I cannot find my penis.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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