so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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