your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
