is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
