I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I would fuck him just for his dog
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
