Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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