Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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