why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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