Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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