party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
