I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
