She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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