Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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