im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
