I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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