Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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