omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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