Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
