they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
