I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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