When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
