my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
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i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
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these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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