p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
