Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
