his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize