So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We left the knife in your bed.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
