I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
