i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
