i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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