Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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