so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Life is so much better after having sex.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
