somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
This baby is an asshole
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
A+ Viking dick
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
