i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
