so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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