I look better un-naked...
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
