you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
