2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
