ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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