I wannas sexs uuuuu
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
