I'm gonna have a badass scar
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
