Me too!
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
