You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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