Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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