listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
