btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
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