Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
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