I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
