I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
