is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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