Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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