dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Less talking, more tequila
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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