how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
